Day 99: The Dead Flat Snake

This afternoon after school, Camden was playing outside while Calen was inside doing a Tinker Crate project with Brad. Suddenly, Cam comes running inside. 

"MOM LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!" as he's holding up a mysterious, long wiggling flat thing that very much resembles...

"IS THAT A SNAKE?!?!?"

Cam, who's huge grin turned a little serious after seeing that I was not in the least going to be thrilled if that long flat thing turned out to actually be a snake inside my living room, said a little quieter:

"Yeah it's a snake BUT DON'T WORRY because it's totally dead."

"HOW do you know it's dead?!"

"Look it's flat it got all squished by a car in the road!"

And then, gaining confidence, he comes into the living room, wiggling his dead flat snake in my face, not even considering how unethical it is to bring DEAD ANIMALS INTO MY HOUSE. 

"But Mom look at it really closely, it's SO cool!!!"

Can we not, and just pretend we did?

So after amusing him for .453 seconds and staring at his very flat and dead snake, I commanded him to go put it in the yard, in which he was totally disappointed that he wasn't allowed to keep it forever in his bedroom because it was so cool. 

Life with boys never disappoints. 

Cam and the dead flat snake. Which is blurry, because he kept WIGGLING IT. 

Day 98: Conversations With Cam

In the car with Cam today. 

"If you live in a castle, you never brush your teeth and all your teeth fall out."

Me: "How do you know they don't brush their teeth?"

Cam: "Because I've never seen a toothbrush in a castle. Have YOU? No, you haven't."

Based on all his castle visiting experience. 

No photos today, just sit and think about his logic. 

Day 97: Keep Calm And Play Hockey

Today, like most Sundays lately, was all about hockey. 

Cam has Intro (a basics camp) early in the morning, for an hour and a half. It's hard skating, passing, shooting, work until you're exhausted camp. 

Then we went home for a few hours, dried his gear, and then headed back to the hockey rink for his Mites team practice. Another hour of hard, intense work. 

This practice couldn't have come at a worse time. It was towards the end of a long day that started at 5am, and Cam was tired. And even though he ate before, he was complaining that he was hungry. 

Tired, and hungry, and Cam, who is naturally just cranky anyways. 

Oh yay. 

The practice was a mess. Cam was downright pissy about everything, slamming his stick down when something went wrong, and yelling in frustration if another kid even came CLOSE to him and the puck. 

This is when I hide and pretend I don't know him. 

At one point during a scrimmage, a kid that had a solid 10 inches on Camden came at Cam at full speed and dove into his legs to stop him from shooting a goal, completely wiping him out. Cam screamed in anger, and he infuriatingly does, and the coach yelled at the big kid, telling him that's a major penalty (no purposeful contact allowed at this age). Not ten seconds later, big kid had the puck, and Cam starts power skating towards him, full of rage and piss and vinegar. 

Oh shit, I thought, he's going to drop his gloves and fight this damn kid and it's all going to be over. 

But instead, Cam skated headlong into the kid and dove into his knees and absolutely wrecked him. The kid layed out on the ice like a star fish, and when he sat up and held his hands out in protest at the obvious penalty, the coach just kind of half smiled and shrugged, and the game went on. 

Swift, unequivocal justice. 

Not that I condone Cam to blatantly break the no-contact rules, or to be a complete shit at practice, but it was kind of a hilarious and fantastic moment. 

That kid is meant to be an enforcer. 

Cam on the left with the orange stripe on his helmet, well before the shit hit the fan

Day 96: Opening Day

It's Opening Day for Fall Ball! Bring on the parade! Bring on the bbq! The announcers! The ceremonies!

Or don't, because it's fall ball, and they don't do any of that, they just play their games. 

That's just as well for me. Start the games up and let's play already!

Calen's team, since all Fall Ball teams are minor league teams, is the Tin Caps. 

The Tin Caps?! What the hell, exactly, is a tin cap? The logo, of all things, is an apple, or a tomato, or something, with a metal pot on it's head. I'm so confused. 

What's going on here?

Upon researching and reading the "Why TinCaps" page on the minor league's team website (yes, there's an entire page here dedicated to why they picked the TinCaps), it's referring to Johnny Appleseed, and his infamous metal pot that he wears on his head. 

Okay, I guess I'll accept that. 

Fun fact #1: Johnny Appleseed is the name we gave a yearling buck that lives under an apple tree across the street from us. We find him there literally every night. 

Fun fact #2: The Fort Worth TinCaps were founded in 2009, the year Calen was born. 

I guess it's meant to be. But I can't get over the green and red color combo. What is this, Christmas?!

Anyways, it was opening day today, and Calen's game landed right in the heat of the 95 degree day. YUCK. 

He started at catcher and absolutely rocked it. No passed balls (one or two completely wild uncatchable pitches), no stolen bases off him and he put a runner at third into an epic, several minutes-long pickle, in which he and the third baseman single handedly (without any backup) went back and forth on this runner, over and over, until the third baseman finally unfortunately overthrew Calen, who went literally diving on his belly to reach the ball and snag a tag (late). It was a killer play, even though it didn't turn out the way they wanted it. 

In the end, the TinCaps were down by 7, but fought and came back to win it with a walkoff walk, 10-9 final score. 

Pumping his fist after an out. Love it. 

Day 95: It's All About Hockey, Baseball, and Good Grades

Tonight was a super fun celebration at Camden's hockey rink, called "Back To Hockey Night". 

Or, if you're new to hockey, like we are, it's more like Welcome To Hockey Night. 

It's a big kickoff for the season. There's a free barbecue outside, and gear drive tables, where people have donated dozens and dozens of old outgrown hockey gear, and everything is five dollars. FIVE DOLLARS!! Those who don't understand the price of hockey equipment, this is a big deal. We scored Camden brand new(ish) $200 hockey skates in a size up for $5. 

SCORE. 

Good thing I saved all that money on hockey skates, so I could buy a bunch of wearable Flyers swag. 

Inside the rink, all the teams had their first annual Skate-A-Thon. Each player got 30 minutes for pledges that go directly to their registration (Camden made almost $200, thank you for everyone that donated!!). Cam's team and the age division up skated together, most of them doing flybys and getting high fives from us on the wall. 

It was such a fun night just Cam and I (Brad and Calen were at a baseball event), and it was great to be officially welcomed into the youth hockey family. 

Ready for his skate a thon!

Best hockey buddies!! Tyler, Will, and Camden

Marching proudly with new swag! New hat (which we customized with "Bam Bam Cam", new shirt, new hoodie he isn't wearing because fall in California is stupid. 

And not to be left out tonight, Brad took Calen to a very special event (that happened at the same time as Hockey Night, because of course it did). 

Calen was nominated Academic All American through his baseball league, for keeping outstanding grades all while playing spring baseball. He and several other players were awarded a certificate and a customized really nice backpack, complete with his name embroidered on it, and a free night at Rebounderz trampoline park. 

Camden was also awarded this, but we felt it was more important for him to not miss Back To Hockey Night, especially since people were so generous with his pledges. 

So proud of both of my boys and their amazing achievements. 

2018 Academic All Americans! Calen is right above the "R" in Sponsor

Day 94: The Funeral For Freddy The Tadpole

Sometimes, you just get thrown headlong into things. 

I was in the shower this afternoon when I was interrupted (of course I was - I'm a Mom, trying to take a shower, while my kids are home) by Calen. 

"MOM. (rattles off 5 names of 4th grade girl classmates that I won't disclose) are having a funeral for Freddy at 4pm and I need to be there to help with the ceremony so I'm going to go outside and help them okay?"

"Wait. Who is Freddy and why is he having a funeral?!"

"Oh Freddy is a tadpole that Heidi caught in the river on Monday and he's been dead in a jar for a few days so we need to have a funeral. He like never was actually alive she found him dead but he really should have a funeral"

"A funeral for a tadpole."

"Yeah so can I go outside and help?"

"I mean...by all means...go be a part of Freddy's funeral."

And as I finish my shower contemplating what exactly a funeral for a tadpole would entail, I decide that I absolutely have to observe this, because nothing could go more perfectly ridiculous than a funeral for a tadpole operated by 4th graders. 

After a solid hour of planning and grave digging in the back field (Calen was the official grave digger before any adults came along), the ceremony began. They buried Freddy in some sort of mummy wrap in the hole (dug further by one of the funeral operators' fathers), laid to rest with a special rock that said very beautifully: "RIP", and then covered in bright purple flowers no doubt hacked off recklessly from some unsuspecting neighbor's front garden. The "guests" then stood around the grave in a circle, each ceremoniously bowing to it and saying whatever nice things they had to say about Freddy the Always Dead Tadpole. 

Rest in piece, Freddy. 

Day 93: Rebel Scum

I don't know what was up Rebel's tiny little dog butt today, but he was just wandering around LOOKING for trouble. 

He took a delicious bite out of the toilet paper roll. 

He crawled INTO the dishwasher. 

He sat ON the patio chair. 

I keep expecting to come around the corner and see him sitting politely at the kitchen table with eyeglasses and a newspaper, but we haven't gotten that far yet. 


Weird ass. 

Day 92: Breakfast Is Served

It's Labor Day, yay! Who cares?

Not me, I don't really care. It's a pointless holiday, since it's supposed to be a day that everyone gets off, but my store is open, and I'm working. 

Pointless. 

Actually, I really don't care that much. No one wants to go out and face the traffic and the crowds on Labor Day anyways. 

Before I headed to work, the boys announced that they wanted to make Daddy and I breakfast. So we sat back and watched, and they prepared us a breakfast burrito (ones I had premade in the freezer) and sliced us strawberries. They were so proud to serve us. I love that they love to do little stuff like this. 

Day 91: Dinner Is Served

We are finally, finally using up the last of the blackberry jam that Cam and I picked and made a couple weeks ago. Good thing too, because with no preservatives I wasn't sure how long it would last. 

I needed a good way to use a lot of it at once, so I started Pinteresting ideas (I mean, how else do people get ideas for anything nowadays?) and got a great and simple idea for dinner. 

Behold: Blackberry and Jalapeno Bacon Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. 

Say that five times fast. 

The concept is simple. It's a grill cheese sandwich with swiss cheese on one bread, blackberry jam on the other bread, jalapenos and bacon in the middle. Grill until melty. Eat. 

These little marvels are delicious, although, I think I would prefer a provolone or smokey cheese to add a little salty sharpness to it. The swiss was kind of blah. 

That's really all I have to report tonight. It wasn't that thrilling of a day. 

Day 90: Checks and Balances

Since hockey is in full swing and it's Camden's new complete obsession, we've been looking for little tools and whatnot for him to practice at home. He's already got his "ice" (plywood with furniture polish), but the gods of Amazon and Pinterest showed me this super awesome balance board you can buy to work on your little wingers' core strength, ankle strength, and well, balance. 

The price tag is a hefty $129. 

But..what if you could make it? It's really nothing more than a strong piece of ply board sitting on top of a PVC pipe. How hard could that be?

So I sent my weekend warrior (aka husband) to Lowes to snag some grip tape and a PVC pipe, and we used some shelving wood that was already in our garage that he sanded down real nice, and put some "plugs" on the bottom so that the pipe would stop once it slid to a certain edge. 

And voila! A balance board!

Camden loves this thing. He wears his helmet, elbow guards and breezers (a fancy word for hockey pants, I've learned), because safety first, and tries to balance while properly holding his stick. Once he gets the balance down in a few weeks, we will introduce a street puck or a weighted hockey ball so he can stick handle (a fancy term for "dribbling" the puck) while balancing. 

I might even toss Calen on that thing for baseball catcher training. I mean why not?

Another homemade win for hockey training in our house. 

crash and burn, baby

Day 89: Going Up

When I was a kid, I specifically remember my folks taking me on a "detour" while at the mall or Sears or wherever, just so we could go up and down the escalators once, to entertain me. 

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, it seems. 

While at the mall today, the boys pleaded for me to take them up the escalator. And so we did. There wasn't anything worth anything up there, but we went up, turned around, and promptly went back down. 

It's the simple moments, you guys. 

Day 88: A Night With The A's

The military treats us pretty well around here. 

Every so often, we score free tickets from Operation Care and Comfort, a nonprofit event ticket coordinator group for military families. They announce an event (usually day of or the day before) that they have a block of tickets for, you email saying you want a few of them, and you get them emailed for free. 

And who doesn't like free?

We found out yesterday that OCC was handing out free A's tickets for tonight's game. 

Of course they're handing out free tickets. The A's can't fill the stadium to save their literal lives, even though they're in pretty decent playoff contention. 

And it just so happens that the good ol' Seattle Mariners are in town, so we jumped at the chance to get tickets to the game. Brad got off work early, we packed the kids in the car and took the hour drive to sketchy ass super classy city of Oakland. 

But before baseball, hockey, because Camden was with us of course, and the Bay Area's largest hockey store is a mile away from the stadium.

The game was great, especially since it was free. The Mariners won in dominant fashion, we had the entire upper deck section to ourselves, and had (almost) the best cheesesteak this side of Philadephia. 

Almost. It is Oakland after all. 

Day 87: It's All A Blur

Wednesday nights have become very complicated in our life. As luck would have it, it's baseball practice night for Calen, and hockey practice for Camden at the same time. 

Because of course it is. 

Mix it in with a full day of work, and I'm tired. 

So, Brad has taken the reigns and taken Calen to baseball practice every Wednesday, and I take Cam to hockey. 

It's all a blur, really. Just like this picture. 

Day 86: Wall-E

We are T-3 months away from our Disney trip, and that means it's time to start having more-often-than-usual Disney family movie nights. Tonight we picked Wall-E, one of Camden's (and Brad's) all time favorites. 

Cam brought down his little wind up Wall-E toy for the movie. Calen of course was jealous, because he wanted a Wall-E to play with too. Of course he didn't care about that Wall-E toy for the five years or whatever we've had it, until this exact moment that Cam brings it out. This apparently is a sibling trait that is never outgrown. 

After I told him several times that he was not getting that ridiculous Wall-E toy from his brother, Calen disappeared for about 30 minutes upstairs, the muffled rustling of loose Legos coming from his room. 

When he finally emerged, he presented to us his newest creation: a Lego Wall-E, complete with moving treads, rotating head and "fingers". 

Color me impressed. 

And so, we watched Wall-E in peace, with both boys having their Wall-E toys. 

Day 85: Under the Summer Lights

It wasn't necessarily an exciting day, the kids had school and I had work and it was just a boring middle America type of day. School. Work. Blah. 

I did take over the reigns of taking Calen to baseball practice tonight, which was almost new and exciting since I haven't really been present in fall ball this season, since hockey just so happens to fall on the exact days of the week as baseball, of course. 

Of course!

This coach is pretty fantastic, and is letting a lot of kids that haven't had the opportunities in spring ball to play key positions (pitcher, 1st, 3rd). They played Calen a lot at 3rd base tonight, which he's never had a chance to do before, AND they are priming him to be number 3 in the starting pitching rotation (because there are only one or two other lefty pitchers in the league, according to coach), as well as catching. 

Calen is LOVING this team. This is what youth sports is supposed to be. 

I enjoyed being able to finally watch baseball practice tonight under the lights, even if it was -431 degrees. Isn't it still technically summer?

Day 84: O'Dark Thirty

We started the day very early. By early I mean basically the middle of the night. 

A 3:45am wakeup, 4:15am out the door, 5:15 dressed and on the ice first practice for Camden's Mites Flyers hockey team. 

Five Fifteen A. M. 

I heard that youth hockey often has early morning practice. I was prepared for this. But Five fifteen ice time you guys. Getting up at 3:45am and having to function as a human being? Should I just insert an IV of caffeine directly to my veins? Should I just stay up the entire night prior and not go to bed until after practice is over? How to people handle this?

To be honest, I thought waking Camden up at O'Dark Thirty was going to be a nightmare. I flipped the light on, whispered a quiet "Cam, wake up!" and after not receiving any sort of response, I said a tad louder "Cam, Flyers practice" and suddenly he shot out of bed, saying "OH MY GOSH, my first hockey practice!!!!" And he was dressed and downstairs in 3.56 seconds. 

This kid loves hockey more than any kid loves anything. 

Cam in the white jersey during pre practice warmups

After practice was over and we had inhaled our first cup of coffee, we had a solid hour and a half before Intro (the weekly hockey camp he's been in for 8 months now) was going to start. 

It was only 6:30am. 

So we headed to the nearest Starbucks that was open and used some giftcards to get breakfast and a second round of caffeine. 

Maybe hockey players invented coffee. 

Correction: maybe hockey parents invented coffee. 

The great thing, in theory, is that we were done with sports by 9am. The bad thing is we were basically in a hungover state for the rest of the day, and ready for bed by 4pm. 

I hope we get used to this. 

Day 83: Do, Or Do Not, There Is No Try

Today was a big, huge, gargantuan day for Camden. Possibly the biggest day of his tiny life. 

It's hockey team tryouts today!!

The term "tryouts" was used loosely, and pronounced "assessments" in adult language. The only kids that were cut from the two 8u teams were the ones that really can't skate well enough to keep up safely with the rest of the kids.

But don't tell Camden that, because we told him if he didn't work hard or pay attention they'll cut you immediately from the team!!

Whatever it takes to make him work as hard as he can.

The excitement coming from this kid was addicting. He couldn't wait to get on the ice and show them what he's got. 

The tryouts took about an hour and a half, and at the end, Cam stopped every coach and asked "did I make it? Did I make it?!?"

Every coach told him he made it.  


Then Cam announced "We NEED to go to Mary's Pizza Shack for dinner. Because it's my two favorite things today, hockey and Mary's pizza." And so we did.

Introducing the newest Santa Rosa Flyer, 8u Mites division!

Day 82: The Night Before Hockey

It's the night before real, full blown hockey tryouts, and Cam is just full of flutters. He's BEYOND excited, jittery, full tilt bouncing off the walls waiting just waiting for tomorrow to come, hoping he makes it on a team. 

I won't lie, I'm even a little nervous for him. 

Calen and Dad were away at baseball practice tonight, and Cam just couldn't settle and insisted that we needed to watch "a hockey movie", so we watched The Mighty Ducks of course. 


Cam sat here and I watched him out of the corner of my eye, grinning and giggling and announcing "THAT'S A PENALTY!!!!" and then bouncing and clapping and laughing as we watched the movie, and then blurting out:

"I CAN'T WAIT TO BE ON A REAL HOCKEY TEAM!!!"

This is what he's meant to do. He doesn't care about anything the way he cares about hockey. 

Good luck tomorrow, Bam. 

Just a kid with his hockey stick and his lollipop, shooting a few in the garage

Day 81: Back To School Night

We made it through an entire first week of school, so let's celebrate surviving a week of getting lunches packed and battling common core homework with Back to School Night at the boys' school!

This is a fun little introduction to the school that Two Rock Elementary does every year. There's a barbecue dinner provided while the principal discusses how the school operates and introducing all the teachers and all that jazz. 

I love this little school. There's only one classroom per grade, every teacher seems to know every student (and parent), and it's just an intimate little wonderful school.

After the assembly, we head into the boys' classrooms (one at a time obviously) where their teachers do a little presentation and explain the curriculum and classroom goals and whatnot. 

I'm pretty pleased with both the boys' teachers, and we got to see some of their little projects they've already worked on this week as well. 

It was such a neat night seeing the kids' "home" away from home and meeting the teachers that are molding their little minds. 

Sitting at Calen's desk. I felt like I needed to sneak this picture because the teacher was talking and I was "using a cellphone in class". Like I'm in 4th grade or something. 

Calen's "flag" with his loves. Baseball, basketball, football, Star Wars and his puppy Rebel

Camden made a bird feeder for "finches" in his class this week. So cute. 

Day 80: When In Doubt, Use Duct Tape

Camden's tryouts for travel Mites hockey is in three days. 

Like real, actual tryouts, for the first time in our kids' little lifetimes. Although MOST kids make one of the teams, not necessarily all do. 

We've been working a little extra hard off the ice the last couple weeks on stick handling. 

I don't know a ton about hockey, but I do know that Cam generally has a bad habit of skating with only one hand on the stick, which is fine when you are an adult pretending you're in the NHL, but as a first year little Mite player, he really should have that other hand on there. 

And how do you teach a 7 year old how to keep two hands on the stick?

Duct tape the hands on the stick, obviously.

Camden thought this was hilarious, of course, and in the process his muscle-memory was developing on where to have his hands and keep his hands. He skated on his rollerblades up and down our sidewalk, over and over, 

Can we do this with all things? Like, duct tape him to his desk at school, the chair at the dinner table, the pillow to his head at night? 

Hopefully no neighbors saw him and thought that him being duct taped to a hockey stick was some form of ancient Canadian child abuse or something. 

He really did have fun. I swear. 

Disclaimer: no tiny hockey players were injured in the making of this blog post.