Unexpected Milestones

I really should have posted this on Tuesday, but I have been busy the last two evenings. Busy watching Hoarders and browsing Pinterest.

What in the hell did housewives do in the evenings before DVRs and the Internet? Read? Sew? Real activities instead of virtual ones? Ridiculous. 

About a month ago, Calen had a teeth cleaning. His/my dentist informed me that he had a slightly very barely loose tooth. Like not loose enough that any normal human being could ever notice, but dental experts of the world probably could. I was alarmed at first because he's only 4.5, but the dentist said it's not unheard of. Also because he's very much a boy and with boys come many falls broken with their faces, sword fights with their brother that generally end in tears, etc, he probably was helping it along. 

Tuesday morning Calen is eating breakfast before school and announced through his Rice Krispies "Mom I have a loose tooth!". I'm sleepy and particularly not interested in his dramatics in the mornings so I gave him a look and go "no you don't!". But he argues "Yes, I DO!" and pops off his chair and runs to me to show me. I'm still skeptical but when he opens his mouth there it is, his bottom front tooth sitting there sideways in his mouth. I touched it and the darn thing was wiggling all over the place. Like, it was ready to go!

Ummmmm? He didn't have a loose tooth yesterday. Or if he did I didn't notice it when I brushed his teeth, nor did I notice him screwing with it. I went through yesterday and tried to figure out how it got so loose so suddenly. So I asked a lot of ridiculous questions.

"Did someone punch you in the face?"
"No."
"Did you run into something and hurt your mouth?"
"No Mom."
"Did....you bite into a cinder block?"
"Mom! No."

Well what the hell exactly? Other than maybe a tumble halfway down the stairs the night before, but it didn't seem like he landed on his face that time. Who even knows. But the dentist said before that at four years and ten months old he's not TOO early and his teeth and gums look healthy so (shrugs) oh well.  

Let's just say I was completely unprepared for this milestone. Like, completely. Usually you know what's coming next and can plan and prepare and expect it and what not. If he comes home with his first legitimate girlfriend tomorrow, I'm going to start drinking (heavily).

Because I have never been an official tooth-puller-outer before, I didn't really want to yank it out. But after showing my neighbor at the bus stop, she said that he'd probably swallow the darn thing at lunch at school. Poop. So we ran back inside. I grabbed a tissue and pulled it out. Let me tell you that pulling a tooth out is freaky and not in the least fun or pleasant sensation. But, Calen was a champ, not a single tear or even whining. It came out and his rinsed his mouth and then beamed from ear to ear with a new effing adorable toothless grin. 

Moments after we yanked that sucker out. No tears!

Then that evening we had to have a crash course in the tooth fairy and what she does. Since I was completely caught off guard that he was going to lose a tooth this early, I didn't have an adorable little tooth pouch or handmade pillow or any other ridiculous thing to put the darn thing in. Plus I was afraid he'd screw with it if I left it in the sandwich baggie and shoved it under his pillow. Then he'd lose it and months would go by and we'd be moving out and cleaning and going what in the hell is THAT on the floor under the bed?! Oh yeah, Calen's first tooth. Lovely.

SO, instead I had him put it at his place at the table and told him that the tooth fairy would come and "buy" his tooth and leave money. 

"A fairy? Like a Tinkerbell fairy?"
"Sure. Like Tinkerbell."
"With fairy dust?"
"...yeah."

Shit. Fairy dust. Which forced me to bang on my neighbor's door after bedtime to borrow her glitter. And then sprinkle it all over the dining room table which then got on my clothes and is now all over the couch. Freaking fairy dust. I also had to inquire on what the going rate is for teeth nowadays, since I just have zero experience in such things.

The glitter bitch tooth fairy left three dollars. Apparently first lost teeth are a more valuable commodity than the others. 

The going rate for first teeth. Also, thanks to my neighbor we borrowed a book on tooth fairies last minute. We were so unprepared.

So after school yesterday I took the boys to Walmart and let Calen spend his $3. He picked a toy airplane from the movie "Planes". Which of course then Cam had to have one too so I covered that one. 

Bought with his own tooth fairy money

Now Calen keeps saying "I have to lose more teeth so that I can get more money!" And I have to keep saying "Yeah but don't you dare start popping teeth out of your mouth!!" Because I can totally envision him throwing himself down the stairs a few times so that he could get more money for toy airplanes. 

  

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