Because nothing is real or official until it's on Facebook. Obviously.
Before I start the story of today's slap-stick catastrophe, know this. My wonderful husband really tried. He did. He planned everything out perfectly and it should have gone wonderfully and the Powers That Be decided otherwise. None of it was his fault and he's probably really pissed that his master plan failed miserably. But it wasn't his fault. And it was pretty funny how awful things went.
It started off with an omen.
An omen in the form of the two year old that
Camden not napping is the equivalent your family car spontaneously combusting at high speeds on the freeway and wiping out a family of chickens crossing the road in a fiery death.
Aka, it's really BAAAD.
So after Cam's non-nap we drove to the base. Brad had rented a canoe through the base MWR (Morale, Welfare, Recreation) and the plan was to launch the canoe from the base, go across the bay and up the shore and dock at a little seafood restaurant on the water and have lunch.
So we loaded the canoe up with kids and myself, and Brad pushed off.
Two small minor issues: the wind was blowing probably 540mph and the current was extremely VERY MUCH HORRIBLY strong.
We immediately went sideways into the trough of the waves, which were surprisingly big and splashed over the side of the canoe. Like big enough waves that if we stayed out there we'd probably take on water. Then Brad tried to sit down and we nearly capsized and I had to stick my foot out over the side to keep us from flipping. Brad pulled us back to shore and then tried two more times, with the same near-drowning results. Calen is crying "I don't wanna go on a boat ride anymore!" and Camden is going "WHEEEEE!!!!" and I'm using a lot of four letter words yelling at Brad "This is a terrible idea we need to get the EFF off this boat before we drown our kids on Mother's Day" (yes, they were wearing life jackets). After much consideration Brad decided that it was most definitely not safe to take that stupid canoe out today.
P.S. what in the hell kind of Coast Guard offers CANOES to take out on a BAY when it's always this windy? How about say, a real boat? Just a little aluminum boat with a motor and you know, sides.
Also, Calen couldn't have run any faster from the boat to the truck, then flung his door open and literally LEAPED into his seat and shut the door. He was done.
That disaster adverted, we drove to our previous destination of the Crab House on the other side of the bay, thinking hey at least we could salvage a good lunch out of it. It was a pretty cute setup, right on the water, live music, and covered outdoor seating.
It was probably the 2nd worst seafood I've ever eaten in my life.
The food was awful. The service was even worse. And the place was incredibly overpriced. The kids meal (one hotdog and a handful of fries) cost $8 and didn't even include a drink (which cost and extra $3). It cost $88 for four of us to eat. And the hotdogs weren't even good, neither of my kids ate them (and they're big hot dog eaters). The seafood was so disappointing that we didn't even save the leftovers.
And napless Camden was a complete and utter basketcase during the meal.
So we went home and tossed Cam into bed for a nap (which he didn't take) while Calen played outside with the neighbors.
The one thing that DID go right was we walked to the Drydock for dinner. We pulled Cam in the wagon and Calen rode his bike, and we all had ice cream for dinner. And that was perfect and wonderful and awesome. But you can't screw up Drydock, especially when it comes to ice cream.
At least it ended well.
Brad feels bad and I'm more laughing at the chain reaction of calamities that happened. But we're definitely having a do-over day next weekend. That doesn't involve canoes or seafood.
Endnote: Camden is still awake, causing whatever havoc in his bedroom. We decided that yesterday was a GREAT day to start round 2 of trying out his big boy bed. He did really well yesterday since he was so sick. Today, he's throwing a party in protest.
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| Ready to NOT go out on the canoe |
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| The highlight of the day |
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