Shenanigans

The boys have been into mischief lately. Specifically, a few days ago.

I blame it on a lack of "summer" this summer. Grey cloudy days where the temperature doesn't go above 75 (in which East Coast -accustomed Calen claims is "cold"). And RAIN that keeps us inside. Being trapped inside means shenanigans are inevitable. 

It started on Friday. 

We have a walk through baby gate in the upstairs hallway. This is there because the boys wake up at o'dark thirty, a time in which I deem illegal and evil and the equivalent of basically the worst thing ever. I don't exist at o'dark thirty. I refuse to exist. So I let the boys play in Calens room and sleep happily in my bed until a time of morning that I deem acceptable to exist, like 8am. The gate keeps the boys from going downstairs and thus involving themselves in shenanigans.

On Friday, the gate got opened. Somehow. I assumed that I had left it open. When I woke up, the boys were in Calens room with lollipops in their mouths, and no less than SEVEN eaten lollipop sticks on the ground in his room. I went downstairs to find the step stool pushed up against the counter and the candy jar open. Shenanigans.

Well fool me once. I put the candy jar up high. On the alcohol shelf. Try to reach that you misfits. Sunday night I was absolutely POSITIVE I closed the baby gate. Positive. I checked twice.

Monday morning I wake up to the sound of the baby gate clanging shut. I jumped up like my mattress was on fire, half asleep, shouting to myself "OHMYGOD the KIDS are DOWNSTAIRS" and wondering just how the hell they got the gate open, and what the hell they got into, all while still midair from jumping out out bed.

I dove into Calens room. He was watching Cars, on his floor, with the entire Costco box of graham crackers beside him (a Costco box holds FOUR standard sized boxes of graham crackers). Half of an entire standard sized box was GONE. It was unopened the night before. Scattered throughout his room were teeny tiny pieces of cracker wrapper, cut carefully into a thousand pieces by Calen using ADULT scissors that he STOLE from the junk drawer. Beside the graham crackers was a cereal bowl with a few leftover pieces of Lucky Charms. Beside THAT was a souvenir sized cup full of lemonade. 

I'm staring at his room dumbfounded, wanting to scream or yell or just go back to bed and pretend it hadn't happened. I wanted to make some kind of amazing riot act about STEALING food SEALED SHUT from the pantry and SNEAKING it upstairs and USING SCISSORS to open it and eating HALF A BOX OF GRAHAM CRACKERS and why in the hell didn't they just wake me up and say "hey Mom I'm hungry"? But all I could mutter was "WHERE is your brother??" because Camden was suspiciously MIA.

"Over there." Calen said very nonchalantly, munching on graham cracker, As if he didn't realize that his little life as he knew it was about to end. Violently. 

Camden was hiding under Calen's desk, with a graham cracker in each hand. I think he was more aware of the trouble they were into than Calen was. 

Then, I went downstairs to assess the situation. It was almost as bad as I feared.

The pantry door was wide open (regardless of the child lock on the handle). On the kitchen floor was an empty Pop Tart box, which most definitely wasn't empty the night before. Next to that was a bottle of apple juice, cold from the fridge, but not opened (it was sealed and apparently childproof). Also there was the lid to the lemonade pitcher. Following the trail of debris into the dining room, I found THREE empty Poptart wrappers (so six Poptarts total were eaten), the now empty-that-was-full-last-night pitcher sitting in a puddle of what once was lemonade. Next to it was a container of Lucky Charms that was 1/4 empty. I bought those the night before. 

Did I miss anything? I don't think I did.

SHENANIGANS.

I went back upstairs to annihilate the kids but tripped over Calens scooter in his room. Calens scooter...in his room? Which means he CLUNKED that metal thing all the way up the wood stairs.

How in the HELL hard was I sleeping??

AND THEN Calen asked for breakfast! Umm, NO? You just ate the entire house. You're not having breakfast. OR LUNCH.

Okay so maybe I did feed him lunch later.

The kids got the floor mopped with them, but I still have no idea how they got the gate open. Daddy did something to "fix" it that night. I should have known that the worst mischief my kids would get into would involve food.

Pin It