The first lesson learned was by my sweet starry-eyed four year old. Like every Christmas, my husband and I go totally overboard on Christmas presents. Not because we want to raise spoiled, rotten little brats, but because it's that fun for one day a year to break all the rules, not say no for a change and see the kids' faces light up and and eyes pop out of their heads when they come around the corner Christmas morning and see the family Christmas tree transform into a cornucopia of packages neatly wrapped with pretty bows and tags with their names on them.
I decided that now that Calen is only a couple months away from turning five, it's time to start teaching him that giving is just as important as getting.
Pay close attention to how I phrased that last sentence. I'm not fooling myself, or my son, or anyone else for that matter. There is no way that any human being living on this planet would ever convince a four year old child that giving gifts is better than getting. It's not, when you're four. Getting gifts at that age is magical. Because toys are everything when you're four. It's your only true property, your bartering tools ("hey Brother, I'll trade you this truck for that sword."), your way to make friends, the list goes on. I get it. Getting is the best thing ever at that age. But that doesn't mean that you can't teach them that it's equally important to give at Christmas. Because it's a nice thing to do. Because it makes other people happy. Because it's what you do for people that you love.
We have to start somewhere, right?
So, I took Calen on a solo mission to the store to pick out a present for Daddy, and a present for his brother. And that's it. No treats for himself, or toys, or anything. Just gifts for people he cares about.
It was hard for him, I'll admit it. First we shopped for Camden. This was the hardest challenge because we're right in the middle of the ever tempting toy section, in Calen's favorite aisle, the toy car aisle. First he tried to choose toys for Cam that Calen would want to play with. Not that they have completely different interests but it was definitely a "let's buy this for Cam so that I can play with it while he's taking a nap" type of scheme. So we had a few little talks about how this was for Brother and not for him, and let's think of something that Cam would really like. With a little direction, he picked well. And though he expressed that he was sad he didn't get to pick out anything for himself, he was a good sport and I kept encouraging him, telling him how nice it is that he picked out something for Cam and that Cam is going to be so happy when he opens it. Daddy was a little easier since it was more boring stuff. It took some work to convince Calen that Daddy wouldn't want a toy car, or a Captain America toy, and that Mommy couldn't afford to buy him a real, big car even though it's such a thoughtful idea.
We survived the trip and good lessons were learned. When we got in the car I looked back and almost felt bad because Calen looked so dejected that everyone else was getting a gift except for him (regardless of the 7,201 presents with his name on them under the tree at home). So I mentioned to him "You know, Camden got you a present too, because he is a nice boy too." Calen lit up and goes "He DID?!?!?" And the rest of the drive was not about how he got Cam and Daddy nice gifts for Christmas, but about the one gift that Camden got HIM.
Well, there goes that lesson. Way to blow it Mom.
At least we tried, right?
Also, the kids made their own wrapping paper using homemade cutout sponge stamps and paint for their gifts to each other today. It kept them busy and actually turned out pretty cute.
The other lesson we learned this week is more on my end. Most of you know we didn't fly home this year for Christmas like we have every year since we moved away. Even though we really wanted to this year, we just simply couldn't afford it being only three weeks after we returned from Disney World. And let's not talk about how high our credit card balance is after that....yikes.
I was disappointed that we weren't making it back home to family this year, but also almost relieved, that for once we didn't have the huge load of stress and anxiety in the form of flying during the holidays. I really can't think of anything worse than flying over Christmas with preschoolers. Seriously. I used to love to fly. Then I had kids. Besides, it was something we hadn't had in years. A relaxing Christmas. No traveling, no 300 houses/Christmas parties/family members to visit in 10 short days, just us. And so shortly after Disney, we were gassed and in need of a break.
But it hasn't been as nice as we thought. I mean, it's nice enough. And relaxing for sure. But something's missing. Actually, a lot is missing. Making cookies with grandparents. Family dinners. Traveling all over kingdom come visiting everyone (Yep, I said it, I even miss that). Christmas Eve with my family. Christmas morning with Brad's family. I miss it. I hate that we don't get to have it. And each day that brings us closer to Christmas, I long for it more. I wish I could trade every gift under that tree for four plane tickets. And though it's too late now (though seriously, unless Santa Claus brought us a few grand to pay off Disney, we couldn't afford it no matter how much we wanted it or how many of our belonging we bartered off), it's been a very good lesson. That no matter the cost, no matter how stressful and crazy and exhausting it makes the holidays, it's worth it to be home for the holidays. Worth everything in the world. And it's definitely something I'd never like to repeat in future years.
Not that Disney World wasn't worth it, mind you. Because it was. But next time, we plan on budgeting differently, so that we can afford both the trip, and the trip home.
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