Day 45: Why Don't You Feed Your Kids?

For those that don't have much personal experience with my kids, they eat a lot. A lot. My boys eat like 15 year old linebackers on a high school football team. If I had a dollar for every "Can I have a snack?" or "I'm just SO hungry!!!", I could retire and purchase my own tropical island and sleep in a hammock and drink cocktails out of coconuts for the rest of my life. 

But no one's paying me so here I stay in Northern California with zero coconuts.

If you think they eat a lot normally, wait for their growth spurts. Growth spurts make them emotional (Calen), extremely cranky (Camden), tired, and hungry. Always always hungry. Growth spurts for the boys usually come around their half-birthdays and their birthdays. 

It's Camden's birthday month. 

He's in a growth spurt. 

The other day I picked up Cam from preschool and his teacher (Ms. Selfa) pulled me aside. I assumed it was another "please sign this paper" stating that Cam had hit his head (again) at recess or another note of "please explain to him that he can't color his stomach with markers" kind of thing that I never got with Calen but always seem to get with Cam. 

Instead, she asks me: "Does Camden eat breakfast?"

What? Does he eat breakfast? Of course he eats breakfast! He eats more than me and he's not even five. 

I managed to stumble out "Uh, yeah. A huge breakfast. Every day."

In fact, that morning he had eaten a bowl of instant oatmeal (two packages), a cup of fruit, and a slice of peanut butter toast. And an apple. For breakfast. 

His teacher explains to me that he's coming to school STARVING and eats three or four servings of their free breakfast they offer to actually needy kids (not mine) every single morning this month. Not 45 minutes after his monstrous breakfast at home. And that he SAYS he didn't get breakfast. 

And so now she's worried that I'm not feeding my kids. 

I dare her to call CPS and check my grocery bill and see how much these two tiny humans consume. Though in her defense, I can understand her concern, because with the amount of food they eat both boys should be on Dr. Phil for being 200 pound grade schoolers. But neither of them can gain weight to save their lives. 

Especially Cam, who's actually small for his age. Damn short/skinny Mom genes. 

I'm not sure what kind of delicious mecca of a breakfast they're serving (if it's raspberry filled powdered donuts, I'd eat 3 or 4 servings too), but I tried to convince Cam to not eat their breakfast and now, on top of his huge breakfast at home, I'm sending him to school with an apple every day to eat. Which I'm pretty sure he eats in my neighbor's car before he gets to school so that he can eat whatever they're serving too. 
Luckily Ms. Selfa believes me for now and it doesn't seem to be an issue that he eats their breakfast too. 

I'm not going to be able to afford or manage feeding teenage boys in ten years if they're already eating like this. 

Stop eating all my food!!

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