Day 159: Walking Among Giants

The surprising thing about California to me is how much there is to see. The state is long enough that depending on what direction you go, you're going to see almost all the major geographic types. Desert, beach, mountain, forest, plains, etc. Growing up I always expected California to be nothing but palm trees and dead grass. 

Anyways.

Today was family fun day and we decided to go on a little road trip to very very Northern California (near Eureka) to see the giant redwoods. There are redwoods down here where we live, but they aren't the gigantic drive-your-car-through redwoods that are up north. 

So after a 3 hour road trip, we arrived at the world famous Avenue of the Giants, a 30 mile stretch of road carved right through the middle of the redwood forest, complete with an "auto tour" map and several places to stop and explore the woods on walking trails. 

Coming from the Pacific Northwest, I know trees. Walking through the woods isn't like a blow your mind kind of thing for me. But these trees are effing big. Hugely big. And walking through an entire forest of stupid big trees makes you suddenly wonder if you didn't accidentally stand in front of a shrinking machine and are now in a real life reenactment of Honey I Shrunk The Kids. 

We drove through the Avenue and stopped at several random places and walked around in the woods, climbing (yes climbing) on top of fallen redwoods and inside (yes, inside) live ones. We found a calm part of the Eel River and the kids waded in and threw rocks for an hour and then we'd go and find another part of the woods to explore. Once we were satisfied at the Avenue of the Giants, we headed south towards home, but stopped at the famous Chandelier Tree, paid five bucks and drove our car through it. The kids kept their heads out the sunroof while we drove through it, though the height of our SUV caused them to have to duck a little. 

Super fun day, lots of memories, another California bucket list check off. 

Our truck parked inside a 2 thousand year old tree. No big deal. 

Day 158: Face Your Fears

Out of the two boys, Calen is my tender, sensitive one. 

Where Cam is basically fearless, Calen naturally fears the unknown. Anything remotely "scary" is unapproachable, unattainable, and most certainly not worth facing. Of course, Brad and I feel as parents that he should learn how to face his fears and more importantly conquer them. You know, life skills and all that nonsense. 

Not that flying down a curved ramp on a metal scooter is exactly "life skill" material, but that's what we had to work with today. 

Yesterday Calen absolutely positively had a meltdown at the top of the skate ramp with his scooter. He wanted to go down it but was way too afraid. That part I get, and we didn't push it. But the simultaneous emotional breakdown was a little much, and we decided it was a teaching moment. So today, we bought some knee and elbow pads, took him back to the skate park, had him climb the ramp and slide down it on his knees. 

Look, see? It doesn't hurt does it?

Impressed with his new "armor", he took his scooter to the top, and after a couple deep breaths (and some slight peer pressure from Mom and Dad), he went down it, didn't die (or crash), and was so happy and loved it so much he did it twenty more times in a row. 

Sometimes you just have to throw them off the ramp. 

Endnote: No, we didn't throw him off the ramp. No, we didn't FORCE him to go down it. It was something he really wanted to do but didn't know how to approach it. And he's glad we encouraged him to get back out there and do it. Now get on with your hippy life. 

Success. This was a few times after his first run.

Day 157: The Dog Days Of Summer

We've kind of fallen into a daily routine this summer. Play inside in the morning. Play outside with friends the first part of the afternoon. Go the pool the second part of the afternoon. Rinse, repeat. Every day. 

Who doesn't love summer?

We really stirred things up today by going to the skate park for an hour in the blistering heat in the morning and watching Alice in Wonderland (original, animated version) this evening. Adventurers this week, we are. 

Day 156: The Flying Eagles and the Pack of Wild Boys

The best thing about living on post (aka behind the base gate) is that it's basically completely and totally safe to just send your kids out and tell them to go play. Unattended. For hours. 

Granted. This base is small, so we know basically everyone. My kids have strict boundaries as to where not to pass. Like, don't go any further than the chain link fence on one side, no crossing the street on the other side. So I can walk out my front door and still see them. Get it? It's not like I'm setting them loose in downtown San Francisco or anything. 

Anyways. 

Ever since we moved in last year, there's been this pack of wild boys running around the base every day in the summer, completely armed to the gills with Nerf Guns, ammo, a sword tucked in their shirt, maybe even a piece of armor or two. As families have moved, the roster of the Wild Boys has changed significantly. But it's always the same. Summer=Wild Boys. 

My boys were initiated into the pack of Wild Boys last summer, but they've formed their own sanction within the pack this summer of anywhere between 3-8 kids. They group up in our garage, arm themselves, and set off into the neighboring trees, fighting off zombies and evil mages and whatever imaginary foe Wild Boys could ever think of. It's the ultimate dream for kids to roam around care-free, and the ultimate dream for parents to let their kids roam around worry free, using their imagination, no electronic devices necessary. 

Today this sanction of the pack named themselves the Flying Eagles, had their own chant, and successfully defeated over a billion rabid zombies invading the back field in an epic battle (I kept hearing "3..2..1...FIRE!!!!!"). 

Way to keep the city streets safe, boys. 

The Flying Eagles. Complete with weapons and armor. 

Day 155: Things I Shouldn't Have To Say

Life with boys is strange, at the very least. 

Here's a short list of things I had to say today, all before noon. 

"Why is there toothpaste on your back?"

"Get the Legos out of the bathroom sink."

"It's not funny that I just said 'bathroom'."

"No, you cannot wear cowboy boots on the slip n slide."

"Don't squeeze ANYTHING in this aisle." (it was the cleaner aisle at Target...)

"Yes, Clorox Bleach does clean up dysentery." (Calen is watching too many commercials)

"No, I'm not going to explain to you what dysentery is."

I quit keeping track after that. Just a day in the life around here. 

"Mom, this Clorox Bleach takes care of dysentery." I wish I was kidding.

Day 154: You Need HOW Many Glue Sticks??

School starts in mid August around here (because California is stupid and doesn't believe in anything fun...like waiting until after Labor Day to start school), so we had to do back to school shopping a little early. This is the first year ever that I had to buy school supplies for two kids. 

I actually love school supply shopping. I don't know why. There's something fun about buying all those new crayons and notepads and pencil boxes. And since they're always on sale this time of year and I like helping out, we always buy a few extras beyond the supply list for the classroom and for our house. 

That being said, I took a look at the supply list for both kids. It's not an individual list but a classroom list. Basic stuff. Scissors. Tissue. Copy paper. Okay, I can handle that. 

But then I had to do a double take. 

"You need how many glue sticks?!"

Combined, the boys needed 25 glue sticks. Twenty-five. 

Just what in the hell are they going to do with 25 glue sticks? Create a true to size paper house? Glue their teacher to the chalkboard? I felt like a drug addict shoveling cartons of glue sticks into my Target basket. No Mr. Cashier, I do not have a glue sniffing problem. Seriously. 

But really, glue sticks aside, there's something totally fun about dumping an entire bag of school supplies on your dining room table. 

3 weeks left of summer people!

Glue sticks and crayons for days

Day 153: Waiting For That Perfect Wave

It was beach day today, so we went to Bodega Bay with friends. 

And while it was 90 degrees inland, it was, in true Nor-Cal form, maybe 70 degrees on the shore. 

But hey, that's warm for the beach around here!

Calen mistook his boogie board for a surf board and kept waiting for that perfect wave to come take him away. 

Day 152: Defying Human Instinct

For my birthday, I ordered a GoPro. 

No, I didn't. GoPro's average around...are you ready...four hundred dollars. For a tiny little box with a tiny lens and maybe an underwater case. 

There's something completely and totally against human instinct to toss a four hundred dollar electronic device into the deep end of a pool. "Failproof underwater case" or not. 

So instead, and also because I'm not made of money, I ordered a complete and total Chinese knockoff of a GoPro. It's a brand I've never heard of (Lightdow), looks exactly the same, got tremendous reviews on Amazon, and was a whopping $60, including underwater case, helmet clip, skateboard/snowboard/every board clip, etc etc etc. 

And I won't feel QUITE as jittery about tossing it into the pool. 

We finally tested it out today at the base pool and once I got over the initial fear of submerging it, I was pretty impressed with it, for what it was. It takes great underwater pictures and video. Maybe not the best quality ever ever, but hey, it was $60 and I get to take pictures underwater. Who cares?

Also today, we went and saw the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie which was completely corny and silly but good old fashioned fun and the kids loved it. And the best part of the whole movie was when they played the classic cartoon theme song during the end credits. Turtles in a half-shell! 

Day 151: Winos In Wine Country

I'm not a wine drinker. 

I'm not a wine drinker and I live in Sonoma County. 

*gasp!* *shock!* *horror!*

That being said, I'm always up for an adventure. So when my neighbor's birthday rolled around today and she invited me and a few other girls to go wine tasting at a few vineyards today, I said heck yes, I'm in! I mean why not, it's something new and different right?

Speaking of birthdays, a happy birthday shout-out to my big brother Josh! July is a good month for birthdays. 

We went to three vineyards, none of which I remember the names (and not because I was intoxicated, thank you). One thing I will say is that the locations and surrounding areas are just drop dead gorgeous. The facilities were very welcoming, and yes, the wine was actually quite good. I learned that I'm not a pinot noir person at all, but I do enjoy chardonnay (which surprised me about myself).

You learn something new every day. 

All in all I really enjoyed the day and especially the company. Check another box off the bucket list!

Great times, great people

But seriously, this view. 

Day 150: You Couldn't Boy Anymore If You Tried

My kids couldn't be more boy if they tried. 

Today, Calen built a "most extreme triple loop race course" out of hot wheel tracks, went outside and played basketball, built a fort in the woods, made a bed out of "soft dirt" and rocks, sharpened a "dagger" out of a stick, had a Nerf war, went to a friends house and played video games (Mario Kart), and then went to the batting cages. 

Well that about covers all the bases. 

Camden was absent for most of this because he stayed home and endured his last day of being grounded. 

I'll take this over princesses and tea parties any day. 

Day 149: Who Needs Toys When You Have Boxes

You know you're a military kid when your new neighborhood buddy that moved in last week comes out with no less than half a dozen empty gigantic moving boxes to play with. 

They made a house. Complete with front door, living room, bedroom and "the girls room", for said new friend's little sisters. 

They stayed in their new box house for two hours. 

Who needs toys when you have boxes?

Day 148: We Just Aren't That Interesting

You guys, we were completely and totally boring today. We didn't go anywhere, do anything, say anything worth mentioning. We existed, and we're still alive to tell about it. 

What can I say, we just aren't that interesting today. 

I didn't even take a picture! Shame on me. 

I'll do better tomorrow. 

Day 147: Go Do Something Constructive

For basic kid reasons, the kids are grounded from electronic devices (including the TV) until Friday morning. 

At first they were like "Well what are we supposed to DO in the mornings?" and I'm all "Go do something constructive," like every mother in the history of the universe has said at least once in their lives to their kids. 

Unfortunately, my brilliant no TV punishment also punishes me, since the normal routine of the day is the kids wake up (on their own) at 6am (disgusting), go downstairs, turn on the Disney Channel and pour their own cereal while I sleep (mostly) undisturbed until around 8. Now with no TV, I figured they'd be noisy or come in the room for a million questions and my wonderful morning routine would be ruined. 

But when I woke up this morning (at 8), I realized they hadn't bugged me once. My first thought was "Shit, I forgot to hide the remote." and figured they were sneaking TV. But when I came downstairs, I find Calen on the floor amidst a pile of Legos, creating an "Army soldier base" AND a tank to go with it. 

In which my verbal response was "wow Calen, this is amazing!!" but my NONVERBAL response in my head was "Holy shit!"

Calen's army fortress. Complete with watch tower, garage for his tank with moving door, and "fences for protection"

His tank. Color me impressed. 

And then I look over at Camden, who had pulled out his summer math workbook, and had willingly completed FORTY TWO PAGES of it. I actually had to force him to stop and go play, because he wanted to complete the entire 90 page book. In one day. 

On second thought, maybe we DON'T reinstate morning TV. Look how constructive they suddenly are!

Endnote: I don't want to hear about how you're hippy mom of the year and never let your kids watch TV ever because it kills brain cells and causes elbow cancer and turns them into serial killers. My kids watch TV on a daily basis (moderately, morning and evening) and I'm pretty sure they aren't going spontaneously combust. Pick your battles. 

Day 146: Remember, We Have a Toddler In The House

Brad and I are out of practice of having a toddler full time living in the house. 

Outlets are exposed, baby gates have long been taken down, toys are left on the floor, food is left within reach on the kitchen counter. 

We might not have a human baby in the house, but new puppy Sonic is proving to be the exact equivalent of a 2 year old human shithead. 

She enjoys, in no particular order, pooping upstairs on Camden's floor, chewing on loose Lego pieces, launching herself on the kitchen counter to eat whatever's been left unattended (including a peach pit! Which she luckily spit out), and knocking over full Pepsi cans/coffee mugs/water glasses that we have haphazardly left on the ledge of our sofa. 

We are very much out of practice and have to remind each other constantly not to leave anything "dangerous" (for the item, not her) out. 

Sonic also likes hoarding random items, like a human toddler might do. She will run upstairs, snatch my bra out of the laundry basket, and gleefully gallop downstairs and deposit it in the middle of the sofa. Luckily I don't host many fancy dinner parties where she could embarrass me. 

Training has been a slow process but we're working on it. It's a good thing she's cute and Calen loves her so much. 

Day 145: Stay Out the Oceans!

Today Brad finally came home after a week of spending time with his family in Seattle. But the kids and I weren't done with our solo adventure just yet. 

Brad's not fond of beaches (I don't even know what planet he's from). So when the opportunity arose this morning to meet our neighbors at a new beach up the coast, I said heck yes! Let's squeeze that in before we pick up Brad in the early afternoon. 

I swear we enjoy being as stupidly busy as humanly possible. 

We explored a new beach today, called Goat Rock Beach (I didn't get it. There were no goats, and no rocks that looked like goats. What a stupid name) up highway 1 on the Sonoma coastline. The beach itself is right up against the mouth of the Russian River, which makes it an even more unique experience. Hmmm, what am I in the mood for? The river? Walk 30 yards to the right. The ocean? 30 yards to the left. 

Unfortunately and unbeknownst to me, this stretch of Sonoma coastline (10 mile stretch from Jenner to Bodega), is home to the most dangerous beaches in the state of California, #1 of those is Goat Rock. 

Stay out the oceans! Jesus!!

Seems totally safe. Let's go swimming.

Soooo, we enjoyed the ocean from afar. The boys had a rite of passage in the land of boyhood and built their first driftwood fort today. And then once our neighbors arrived, we moved over to the river side of the beach. 

I wasn't in the mood to slip into a rip current or get eaten by a shark anyways. 

The river mouth is fantastic. Super calm water (almost lake-like), pebbly sand, and though it wasn't super warm, the kids got right in, drove their plastic boats around, chased a particularly persistent seagull and had a great time. We lasted an hour and a half or so until we had to leave to pick up Brad. 

Mouth of the Russian River

Endnote: I constantly say that my favorite part of the military lifestyle is being able to explore America. And not just vacation to it but to LIVE in it. What a great adventure. 

Day 144: March To The Color Of Your Own Socks

We had flag football today, so this morning when they got dressed, I asked the kids to wear "taller" socks for protection and whatnot. 

It wasn't until maybe two hours later in the middle of Calen's game that I did a double take and realized that he had two different colored (but same pattern) socks on. I asked him after the game if he realized he had put on two different colored socks. He goes "uh, YEAH, it's way cooler to wear socks this way. Because it's different."

I guess he's marching to the color of his own socks. 

March on, kid. 

Day 143: Celebrating Super Mario Yogurt

Today was the last day of baseball camp so we decided to celebrate. 

Celebrate what, exactly? It's not a major feat. It wasn't a pass/fail. It was five days of playing baseball. 

But the truth was I wanted frozen yogurt, especially since the entire storefront is decked out in Super Mario themes, and they're featuring Mario flavors. So I just needed an excuse to go. 

Let's face it. We're celebrating nothing more than the fact that Super Mario yogurt exists. 

I don't know what the promotion is for, but it's fantastic. They had great flavors like Toad's Rocky Road and Yoshi's Honeydew Melon. Calen and I picked Bowser's Dragonberry Tart and Cam picked that with a side of Mario's Chocolate Gelato. 

And they came in cute Super Mario cups. 

I mean, come on. 

Fellow corporations, take notice. The nerd revolution is here and you should endorse all the things with video game brands. We will pay. 

Princess Peach dared me to put sour patch kids on my Bowser Dragonberry Tart. Okay, Cam dared me. 

Even the windows were decorated with pipes and plant eater guys. 

Day 142: Beach Days in NorCal

We were SO spoiled living in San Diego for a year. 

We spent 4 days a week at the beach. All year long. We went to the beach on Thanksgiving AND Valentine's Day. And not like bundle up and go to the beach. Like it's hot let's go swimming. 

We were spoiled in Cape May too. In the summer months, it was hot, and the water was (way) warmer than the Pacific. 

Northern California is a whole new creature. 

It was hot today. So I declared it Beach Day once Calen got picked up at noon from baseball camp. I figured, it's 93 degrees out, let's go boogie boarding! I was ready to even join in on the fun. 

But it's Northern California. 

As you drive into the beach head, the road gives you a sort of aerial view of the beach down below. And there, looming at us like a grinning evil nemesis of all things summer, is The Wall. The wall of fog that most Bay Area people are far too familiar with. It's thick, it's windy, it's COLD, and it doesn't go away. Where it was 90 degrees 2 miles from the beach, it was probably 50 with a wind chill down on the sand. We donned sweatshirts and tried to bury ourselves in the sand like ostriches stranded in Alaska, but it was no use. We lasted an hour and called it quits. Then drove home to the raging heat, 15 miles away. 

Stupid Northern California. 

We had fun while we were there anyways. 

This perfectly depicts how different my kids are. Calen was freezing and required a hoodie. Cam was shivering but refused to wear one. 

Thug Life

"It's a Hot Sand Tub", Calen says

Day 141: 25 Meters

Ever since summer vacation started, the kids have been in swim lessons. Every weekday for 30 minutes for 5 weeks now. Going into it, Calen was already a proficient swimmer, but there's always room for growth, especially in stamina and technique for him. For Cam, we wanted to make sure he could swim his way out of trouble by the end of the summer. 

Suddenly this evening following his swim lesson, Calen announced he was going to take the Swim Test. The test is to be given the coveted Swim Test wrist band which is permission to swim in the 12ft deep end of the pool on base (which houses the water slide). To pass the test a child must be able to swim the entire lap length of the pool, which is 25 meters. 

That's 27 yards of swimming freestyle, nonstop, without touching the side or standing up. 

Yes, I just Googled that shit.

And that kid nailed it in the first try. 

Seven years old and having the coveted Swim Test wristband? I'm impressed. 

Of course, I was in the BATHROOM with Camden when he did it, so here's a super awesome picture of the pool to give you perspective. Empty. After he already passed it. 

That's a long way, you guys. 

Day 140: The Things You Say

I had the kids take some down time (for once) upstairs in the afternoon. I heard them reading a dinosaur fact book in our little "library" (a walk in closet above the stairs that we've repurposed with a bookshelf and some bean bag chairs as the kids reading hangout. Here's the argument I heard. 

Calen: "The dinosaurs are now extinct."
Camden: "They're on the Planet Extinct?"
Calen: "NO, they're not. They're not on the Earth anymore."
Camden: "Yeah but what planet do the dinosaurs live on right now?"
Calen: "They don't live anywhere! They all died!!!"
Camden: "How?"
Calen: "Asteroid. Boom."
Camden: "Stupid asteroids."

Every part of this conversation was just amazing.

In unrelated news, Cam and I spent a good part of the day at the park behind Calen's baseball camp "reading" and, yes, playing Pokemon Go. And in case the world isn't completely saturated with Pokemon yet, Cam picked out a new hat AND matching watch at Target today. To go with his tie fighter shirt. That kid just has awesome style. 

Day 139: Seven Eleven

Sometimes, a day is just too crazy and frustrating, and you need a Slurpee. 

Luckily my crazy and frustrating day landed on July 11th, and that's National Free Slurpee Day at 7-11. 

So for ten minutes out of this ridiculous day, we sat on the grass at a local park and enjoyed free Slurpees and equally free brain freezes.

Thanks, 7-11. 

Day 138: Ice Skating In July

Sometimes you just need to do something different. 

Last month or so, a neighbor of mine gave me some free ice skating passes to the ice rink owned and operated by the Charles Shulz (aka Peanuts aka Snoopy creator) Museum that's at the same location. The catch of the free passes were, you had to use them by July. 

Most people in California probably wouldn't even associate July with "let's go ice skating". But they were free passes and those that know me know I'm all about an adventure, especially if it's out of the ordinary. So this afternoon we put on warm socks, long pants and mittens, and went to the ice skating rink.

It's the great ice skating rink Charlie Brown!

This was the kids first experience ice skating, and maybe my fourth ever. When we first got there, I panicked a little. There weren't any chairs or walkers or any other not-falling-down-devices for my kids, and there's only one of me to help them (Brad is still gone in Washington). But I said to hell with it, let's see what happens. Kind of like throwing a kid in a lake and hoping they'll swim. Except they won't drown at the skating rink. I hope. 

As I was helping lace up Calen's skates (I did Cam's first), I looked up and saw Cam was gone. I jumped up and looked around the concession area, and Calen says "he's on the ice!" And to my great and shocking surprise, Camden is an effing natural at ice skating. He was already halfway around the rink, skating away, as if he'd done it a hundred times before. The kid never fell. Unless he wanted to fall on purpose, which he did. He even started doing spins and folded his hands behind his back like the professionals skating past him. 

Showoff. 

Skating with his hands behind his back like he's been skating for years. First time ever. 

Calen struggled a little at first but not so much that he couldn't do it on his own. By the second hour we were there, I didn't have to help him at all, and the three of us were skating away independently (with the occasional fall here or there from the boys). 

I asked an employee to take our picture. She then told me I wasn't allowed to have my phone on the ice. Which I didn't put away because I had to take pictures of the kids of course! And Calen yelled at me for breaking the rules. 

We all had a blast but Camden especially was in his element and threw a rare crying fit that we had to leave (he claimed he wanted to live there "all the days"). Then he said he wanted to play hockey which is something I'm willing to investigate at least. 

After skating, we had dinner in the cafe on location, called "The Warm Puppy". It was a great day with just me and the boys and though we were worn out by the end of it, it's something we will definitely do again soon. 

Day 137: Stress Eating

Brad left today for Washington for a week, so that he could help his dad build a new fence for the backyard. I'm so glad that they can have the quality father-son time together, but in the meantime I'm left alone with the kids on quite possibly the busiest week of the summer. Calen starts baseball camp Monday, the boys have swim lessons every day, and let's not forget flag football. 

This morning the boys had picture day for football and then they each had a game. Luckily all at the same location or my brain might have exploded out of my head. 

Halftime loves from his dog

Since it was such a busy day and I was still exhausted from yesterday's late night birthday festivities, I wasn't in the mood to make a real dinner. So the kids made their own pizzas, with the rules that they were required to include at least one vegetable. Calen made a face "with a mustache and a beard" and Cam claims he made a face with a mustache, but his art is still a little Van Gogh. 

While eating their masterpieces, Calen stops and claims:

"I'm stress eating over here!"

I asked if he even knew what stress eating was. He didn't. 

And I'm glad.

Calen's pizza on top and Cam's on the bottom (kid hates tomatoes)

Day 136: How To Turn 32

You guys, I'm old. 

It's my birthday today, and the last thing I wanted to do was remember that I'm thirty-two. So I created my own checklist on how the cool people should turn 32 (and remain young at heart). 

1. Go to the mall and get a Link-Kirby shirt and some new Chucks. 

Because OBVIOUSLY. 

2. Catch a charmandar in the Vans store using the new Pokemon-Go app. 


3. Go to a baseball game with friends (bonus points for taking the ferry to the stadium)

Heading into the city

AT&T Park, San Francisco CA

Love these girls!! Ashley, me, and Sarah

4. Eat a pile of nachos out of a souvenir batting helmet. 

5. Stay awake until 1am and pay DEARLY for it the next day. 


And there you have it. Look out kids, this middle aged mom still has it. 

Okay, maybe not. But it really was a fun day.