Don't Even Bother Using The Phone. Ever.

Well, I had a little tantrum and stayed off the blog for a while. I ignored my laptop, watched TV, and went to bed every night without blogging. And I liked it. 

Alas, all good things must come to an end. 

Now that my boycott is over, I stumble back to report to duty. 

What can I say, it's strangely fun. And people were complaining. 

Mainly the reason I opened my laptop today was because this afternoon two things happened spontaneously in my living room that caused something in my head to trigger "well that's blog worthy". So here I am. 

As I'm on the phone with a friend -- and let's just stop here for a moment. Why is it that my kids will completely ignore my existence if I ask them to put their laundry away, or to try and discuss how their day is going, or shout that the house is on fire, for hours on end until the second I pick up the phone, and then suddenly both are bounding down the stairs at the same time shouting over each other, one announcing "Mom I totally just nun-chucked myself in the penis" while the other is describing the entire life story of a Lego samurai guy. It doesn't matter what dark closet I try to hide in, the moment I make a phone call, they find me. 

Anyways, I'm on the phone with a friend today, and I find myself asking said friend to hang on for a second while I scold the five year old. "STOP shoving more food in your mouth WHILE YOU'RE CHOKING. Seriously!" (He was not like, choking-choking. He was coughing with food in his mouth. Don't call CPS). Then a whopping minute and a half after that incident, I'm shouting at the seven year old "WHY ARE YOU NAKED IN THE LIVING ROOM?! Take your pants, and your cup (he was getting dressed for baseball practice) and go to your ROOM where nearly eight year olds are supposed to get dressed. Jesus!" and then carry on with my phone call unphased, and neither is she, because she has two boys too. 

The moral of this story is don't even bother using the phone when you have kids. Ever. 

Good Lawd. 

Today was swallowed up by baseball practice. While Calen was practicing with his team, Cam and I did a little practicing of our own. He is convinced that "When I'm six and then seven, I'm going to play big baseball and I'm going to be the catching guy that sits behind the hitter." He means, he wants to be a catcher. Tball doesn't have catchers but he's getting ready for next year. We acquired some free catcher's gear, which Cam calls his "armor", so we've been practicing how to maneuver with it on and catch overhand thrown balls. 

The catcher's gear was made with 7-9 year olds in mind. He's 5, and he's small for his age. So while the gear fits, it swallows him up, and his tiny body running with it on makes for an uncanny impression of Baymax from Big Hero 6. He does as well as he can with it, but half of the time when he tries to reach for an outside pitch his whole body just flops over flat unceremoniously like that kid from the Christmas Story (I CAN'T GET UP!). 

Seriously can't stop laughing. 

But he liked it so much even after practice he ran around with his armor on anyways. And who doesn't like a cute little tiny baseball player in catcher's gear. 

Seriously, we couldn't "boy" more today if we tried. 

He thought he was so cool watching big brother's practice in his "armor"

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