"Mom, We Are OUT Of Food", A Tale About Raising Boys

I woke up this morning, stumbled down the stairs where I assumed the boys were on their 7th bowl of cereal or something. As I rounded the corner I found the kids lounging on the sofa (and not getting ready for school), and Calen looks up annoyed and dares to say in an irritated voice: 

"Mom, we are out of food." And then, as if I had insulted his existence by not having ten boxes of cereal ready to pull out of my sweat pants, went back to reading his Pokemon character handbook. 

For the record, we did have food. But it wasn't cereal, granola bars or graham crackers. 

I opened the freezer to "wow" the kids over the treasure trove of Eggos hiding in plain sight and toured the kitchen to show them other edible items in our house such as an entire bowl of bananas, that the boys thought were inedible because there very slightly dark yellow (but not quite brown). 

Calen wasn't particularly impressed and decided he'd "help" me by writing out a grocery list.

But, he was so excited about being helpful, so I tucked the list in my pocket and took it with me for my (already planned) grocery trip. 

The boys eat a lot. Like, I-don't-know-what-to-do-when-they're-teens a lot. And since we live in a very expensive area, I shop a lot at Grocery Outlet. Which is basically the ghetto leftovers of America's grocery stores, but shit is cheap there. 

This cartful of food might last me a week:

Please appreciate the CEREAL for Calen.

We had to make a house rule that each person under the age of 20 is only allowed ONE bowl of cereal per day, after find the boys (particularly Calen) eating 3-4 bowls a morning. Stop eating all my damn food!

Honestly though. Once Calen gets beyond those child-labor-law ages and can legally work, he's paying for his own darn groceries. 

Good grief. 

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