Calen had swim practice today.
I was not the adult in charge, because I was with Camden at hockey practice, earlier in the afternoon.
Calen was home alone, with his phone, with specific instructions to leave the house at 4:45 to go up the street to our neighbor's house, who would drive him to the pool. Then I'd pick him up at the end of practice.
But Calen is an almost 14 year old teenage boy.
Which means he's basically an idiot.
No no no, not really, of course I don't think my precious baby is an idiot. But teenagers are idiots. Teenage boys even moreso.
Brad got home at 5pm and promptly texted me. "Is Calen supposed to be at swim?"
Gosh. Can't anyone remember things on their own?
Yes. Yes he is.
The story, as recounted to me later, was that Brad said "uhhh you're supposed to be at swim!" And Calen literally threw himself out of the house in 0.65 seconds. Our neighbor hadn't left yet, so he made it to swim, great, fantastic, crisis averted.
I picked him up at 6:30 just like I was supposed to.
Calen came out of the lockerroom, dressed, holding a pair of socks, but no shoes.
Pay attention to that detail. No shoes.
Me, pointing very obviously to his bare feet: "Where are your shoes?"
Calen, looking down at his feet as if he didn't know. "I uhhh, forgot them."
Me: "Well go get them!"
Calen: "No I mean, I ran out of the house so fast, I forgot to put on shoes."
Me: silence.
He ran out of the house so fast he forgot his shoes.
He ran out of the house, all the way up the street, on the road, in Alaska, in barefeet.
Calen: "No, not barefoot. I was wearing socks."
Oh because that makes all the difference.
As we left the pool, he exclaimed how cold the ground was and ran as fast as he could across the parking lot to the car. In bare feet.
Had I known of this ridiculous endeavor, I would have parked half a mile away and had him run tip toe to the car.
Teenagers! I might not survive these years.
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