Day 332: The Legend of Pluto and the Underpants

This actually happened early last week. But we were really boring today and I forgot to post about it when it happened. 

It was that magical time between Kindergarten release and older grade release, when the Kindergartners (and little siblings) get free reign of the playground. For us, that almost always means Camden gets an hour to play with his neighbor and Kinder buddy Kael and his little brother Kollin, while his mom and I chat in the garage. 

This day, Kollin had brought with him a tiny little plastic Disney Tsum Tsum Pluto. 

Don't know what a Tsum Tsum is? They are these tiny little collectible plastic log looking things that resemble Disney characters and they're so small my dogs would basically accept them as a snack. 

So anyways, Kollin took this little Pluto guy with him. Later, Kael came back to the garage saying that they had lost Pluto. Which of course, Pluto is the size of a cat turd, so we're never going to find it at the playground. But we send him back to the playground to try and find it anyways, because you never know. 

Two minutes later, Kael come back announcing that they had found Pluto, he was in Camden's underpants. 

..What?? How??.....Nevermind. Great, glad you found it. 

And THEN, Camden comes back to the garage with his pants down around his knees, which means he walked all the way from the playground to the garage (maybe 200 feet past 16 combined households), announcing that he had pooped. 

"Like, you pooped at the playground?!"
"NO!!! I tooted."
"OH. Okay. PULL YOUR PANTS UP!"
"But there's poop!! I tooted and there's poop!!"

Please realize, his pants are still down. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PARKING LOT. 

"So, go change your underwear!!"

And as he's walking away I come to a realization. 

"Ummm....WHERE'S PLUTO?!"

"Kollin has it."
"Was Pluto in your underwear?!"
"Yeah." he says as nonchalantly as if I had asked him if he finished all his applesauce at lunch.
"Was that before or after you tooted with poop?!" Things you never think you'd ask.
"Uh, before." Relief. "I think." That moment you close your eyes and throw your head back in vain. 

So Camden goes inside to change his underwear and we manage to tell Kollin to take an infected Pluto into his house. Then, Cam comes back in the garage, with no pants or underwear on at all. 

Me: "WHY?!" Because sometimes the only thing you can think of is "why"
Camden: "Well, I couldn't get my underwear out of my pants."
Me: "Then CHANGE your freaking pants!!!"

And so he goes back inside, changes his pants and underwear, and continues on to play outside. 

I swear, the lines between real and far fetched seem to blur in this household. Like, I can't make this shit up kind of ridiculous. 

In the end, Pluto got disinfected and Camden learned to not put random stuff in his pants. He also learned what "sharting" is without actually learning the word. All in the same day. 

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