Let's talk about bodily fluids (and not the fun kind)

(Disclaimer: Hey, I'm sorry. But I have two boys, and gross subjects will come up...often)


The biggest issue with this area is the Cape May Crud. It's such an issue it's been given a name -- that everyone knows. The CM Crud is an ongoing illness that circles through the Coast Guard base and military housing, over and over and over, manifesting into new symptoms but really never goes away completely. We are sick all.the.time. Usually just colds, but every once in a while the CM Crud takes a shot or two of steroids and then boy are we in for it.

Last month, the boys were in the ER in the middle of the night at the same time with high fevers and a diagnosis of RSV (Google it...I don't feel like explaining). They had side by side hospital beds which of course my always-happy 2 year old thought was hysterical, even though his nose was spewing like a fire hose with snot and he was delirious from his 104.1 fever. He also thought that the "car bed" (hospital bed--it's a bed with wheels, makes sense to me) was awesome and he got endless "Outrageous Orange" popsicles. I wish I could have had so much fun at the ER.

Friday I took the boys to their friend's house and we had Dominoes for lunch. Clearly I haven't fed Calen in months, because he devoured FOUR slices of pizza and a breadstick in 10.3 seconds. And he would have kept eating if I hadn't told him he was being a pig reminded him that the last time he ate 8 pounds of pizza, he threw up. That evening, he was sitting on the carpet at home watching tv, and he threw up ALL of his pizza/water/whatever else could have possibly have been in his stomach at that time. ALL OVER HIM. And his white shirt (that I pulled the tags off of that morning). And the carpet.

And because I'm such a caring mom I consoled him because he was confused and upset (only the second time he's ever vomited since babyhood), but then took his new white shirt off and left him sitting there on the floor while I desperately sprayed stain remover all over it. And then once I got Calen cleaned up and had no idea how to tackle the horrifying mess all over the carpet, I did what any sane person would do - I let the dogs clean it up. Which I couldn't be present for because I had to throw Calen in the tub, but also because I'm a sympathetic barfer.

Calen seemed fine so he enjoyed his bathtime with Cam, but then Cam spit up (just a little), so I pulled him out of the tub and got him dressed, which then of course he thanked me by having a massive blowout in his 5-minute-old diaper. ::sigh::.

The boys have been healthy since, though all Calen talks about is "spitting pizza". I even outdid myself and cooked a fabulous new recipe of homemade Sweet & Sour pork which was exceptional and delicious. I borrowed a steam cleaner to annihilate the smell/stain on the carpet last night. And then, not even an hour later, Brad started vomiting.

Really??

And you can only crank up the volume on your tv so loud to drown out the noise from upstairs. And I'm sitting on the couch panicking, trying not to breathe the air in the house that is OBVIOUSLY contaminated, otherwise everyone wouldn't be getting sick.

Where did it come from? Definitely NOT from my delicious sweet and sour pork. If I had planned on us getting food poisoning, I would not have made it something delicious and a pain in the ass to cook! It MUST be the CM Crud. After all, Brad's coworker was barfy a few days before. I start to google plans for the next day to get the kids and myself away from the sick house. Calen talks about Daddy "spitting pizza". I told him we're not eating pizza again for at least a decade.

And then I start vomiting in the middle of the night. Crap.

I thought I was really in trouble, because as I'm hanging out on the bathroom floor last night waiting for the next round to come up, our sink starts...purring?



Ohmygod I'm hallucinating. Our sink is purring. I'm REALLY sick.

Until Jersey came out from under the sink. Apparently barfing is a spectator sport (I wasn't aware). Now it's really complicated to try and take care of your sick business while there is a cat obnoxiously rubbing on your HEAD to get your attention, purring, meowing, expecting you to pet it.

Seriously? Go away. I'm extremely busy. Dying. 

It seems like everyone is over the Crud, for the moment, but Brad and I are still recovering from being up all night. Which means pajama party for the kids, eating whatever they ask for (except pizza), and watching tv allllllll day. 



Today's picture is completely unrelated to the post (you didn't REALLY think I would take a picture of something related to barf, did you?). Cam's new thing is crawling around wide-mouthed, gasping in and out loudly (almost laughing). I don't know why he does it, but he only does it when he's excited, and it makes me laugh. He reminds me of a fish.

 

Camden the gasping fish

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