Saturday, March 12, 2016

Day 18: Welcome Back to the First World

Today was officially opening day for the boys' youth baseball league. Except it wasn't because:

Booooo!!!! Hissssssss

What else is new. 

So I begrudgingly put their super adorable totally cool and awesome baseball uniforms back in their closets and grumpily plopped down on the couch to not enjoy some youth baseball. 

This turned out to be a major league blessing in disguise because out of nowhere, Calen started puking. Not like he was complaining about a stomach ache and it built up to the big show in the bathroom, like he was totally fine, dressed and putting shoes on getting ready to head to the batting cages and Costco for lunch, when suddenly he booked it to the toilet. 

Well that escalated quickly.

And in TRUE Calen fashion, he actually tried talking to me while vomiting. "Mom!.....Sorry....I....threw up a little....on....the floor...." 

"Calen!! Stop talking and don't worry about it. Just finish what you're doing."

That kid won't stop talking even if breakfast is actively flying out of his mouth. And to think he was in speech therapy. 

Unfortunately, it wasn't a one and done thing. It seems that the tummy bug that's been rolling around the neighborhood finally hit our house, as Calen was sick on and off all day. Hopefully (*Praying* *begging* *bleaching everything*) it won't hit anyone else in the house...

Costco really couldn't wait today, so I set up Calen on the sofa with his bedding and a bucket, and left him with Cam and Daddy to watch Youtube videos of rally car crashes (eyeroll) on the tv while I went to do some grocery shopping AND purchase a very important necessity in the first world:

Ooooh. Ahhhhh. 

Here's a joke: I've had a Samsung Galaxy s2 (s-TWO) for something like 150 years. It's so old it barely does anything; I just carry it around to pretend that it's useful like everyone else does with their phones. It was as slow as a computer on dial up internet, couldn't do basic features (it wouldn't save any of my events in my calendar, for example), and would leave me screaming "I HATE THIS PHONE!!" at least twice a day to various victims via text message. So for the first time in the history of ever, I have a super new state of the art phone (Samsung Galaxy s7) which was only released yesterday. Aren't I keeping up with the Jones' now. 

My God, if cell phones were a household thing when I was in high school like they are now, I would have been so uncool. How could I have shown up to school with a 5 year old phone disintegrating in my back pocket? Yikes. 

On the other hand, I'd sure as hell be cool in school now. Dusts her shoulders off. 

And it does all sorts of cool first world shit like saves my events in my calendar and doesn't take seven months to load Google Maps and takes pictures so fast that I might actually successfully get a picture of what I want to take of instead of the moment being over for a good hour by the time the shutter button clicks. 

Well hot damn!

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In other news, here's another episode of "The Things That Come Out of My Kid's Mouths", featuring Mr. Calen Elijah this afternoon (not while barfing):

Brad: "I'm not sure if the kids should see Guardians of the Galaxy. I heard it's not good for little kids."
Me: "Eh, I heard it's not too bad. It's only bad language."

Calen (who invited himself into the convo...always): "Bad language? You mean it's in Spanish?"

I'm sure some stiff turd is going to be offended by that, but that crap is funny. Brad and I nearly dropped dead on the floor from laughter. 






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