Just Let It Happen.

My poor kids. 

The past two days I've been a blob on the couch, letting the kids watch tv all day while I sleep responsibly supervise them from my pile of blankets, pillows and tall, frothy mugs of lemon Airborne. 

Seriously, is there any disease within a 200 mile radius that doesn't infect my house? I'm going to start pulling a Michael Jackson move and force my kids to wear medical masks in public. 


I basically let the kids run wild. You want to pull all the diapers out from under the tv and throw them all over the house? Great. Grind a bowl full of Ritz crackers into the carpet and let the 13 month old lick it up? Whatever. I don't care. I wanted to burn the carpet anyways. Pull down the toy kitchen on top of yourself?


Jesus, did that just happen? What is going on around here? Maybe I should pay more attention.

Disclaimer: I was paying attention. Cam pulled himself up on it and the damn thing just flipped over on top of him. He wasn't hurt (except his pride). Apparently that wretched p.o.s. needs to stay up in Calen's room. That's what I get for trying to be all nice and bringing toys downstairs. 

The house was going to hell in a handbasket. And I didn't move an inch (except I did reluctantly go save Camden when the kitchen fell on him). Kids were yelling at each other and not sharing toys and throwing toys and I'm all "nooo boys...stop it" half asleep in between violent bouts of blowing my nose. 

Unless you boys are bleeding or unconscious (or trapped under a kitchen), I'm not moving from this couch.


Then Camden crawled into the dog kennel and was playing in there. What do I care. Catch fleas or rabies or whatever. But then Calen apparently had kennel envy and shoved himself in there too. So there are two kids crammed in a plastic dog kennel and two dogs sitting in the living room staring at their kennel like "ummm, wtf?" 

MY how the tables have turned. 

Refugees.

Calen closed the door to it and Cam was pretty upset. My first instinct was to lock it and like, go shopping or something. Hey, they're contained and safe, right? But then I'm like "Some asshole is going to call CPS on me" so I let them out. 


Another brilliant idea ruined by social services. Damn them. 

Disclaimer: No I wouldn't really leave my kids in a dog kennel (as tempting as that would be). I just drop them off at the vacant habitats at the zoo and pick them up at the end of the day. 

 

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