I Wish I Could Just Blow Up Walmart...

Today was one of those days where I had to be out in public to run some errands and the public part of the errands made me want to just watch the whole structure be obliterated by a large explosive device.

Admit it. We've ALL fantasized about it. ESPECIALLY at Walmart. 

I went to Walmart for two reasons. ONE: To return three items. TWO: To buy a new bicycle for Calen since his current one has a bent wheel that we believe is the reason he's not learning to ride very well. Should be simple. SHOULD be quick.

First I went to customer service to return my stuff. The line wasn't long so I thought I lucked out but in actuality I was screwed because everyone was buying money orders which means lots of paperwork and people at Walmart usually can't even spell their names so it takes 30 years to fill out their name and address. So I'm standing there slowly stewing to death but I finally get out there and return my stuff. 

So then I went to the checkout line and asked the cashier how I could get one of the bikes outside (they were chained up) and he had to get some employee to walk out there and unlock it. Which took forever. So I go out there and the gal can't find the bike that I want even though I'm standing next to her POINTING to the bike that I want saying "THIS one. The BLUE SPIDERMAN BIKE". Of course they don't hire the brightest crayons in the box at Walmart do they. So she tells me to take the bike to self checkout, scan the price tag, pay, done. 

So I get to self checkout to pay for my bike. There's no pricetag. And of course it's the last bike of it's kind so I can't just go snag another pricetag. I ask the self checkout lady what to do. She calls on her little radio and makes me stand there for like ten minutes while she did nothing. And I'm standing there ready to kill everyone. So SHE tells me to take it to customer service. 

You really want me to go back to customer service? There's like, 85 people in line there...

I go back to customer service. And wait in line. Forever. As 194 people fill out money order slips. For half an hour.

I should have just jumped on the tiny Spiderman bike and rode around the store for half an hour. 

Luckily by the time it was my turn the powers that be figured out what the hell my bike cost so it was in and out. I spent one hour and twenty-five EFFING minutes in Walmart. 

Did I MENTION how much I hate Walmart?

...and I still had grocery shopping to do after that. NOT at Walmart. 

You spent HOW long in Walmart mom?

So I came home steaming and turned on Cops and watched good guys kick the crap out of bad guys and now I'm happy. Oh and edited extremely cute pictures of my curly haired youngest which doing anything involving my cute kids and my camera instantly puts me in a good mood (the sweet violent justice on tv helped me too). 

Cute therapy

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