A Memo to My 3 Year Old

I'm putting this up now instead of the evening like I usually do, because ummmm hello I actually have a kid-free date tonight with the hubby!

Yeah I know, I'm just as shocked as all of you. 

And because we're SO hip, cool and romantic, we're going somewhere cheap and greasy for dinner (like Sonic or Panda Express), and then going to the rodeo in Atlantic City. Because we are just a couple of Hollywood trendsetters.


Also because we got the rodeo tickets for free through the base. And who doesn't appreciate a good bull riding or calf hog-tie competition?

Especially the free kind?

If my 3 year old could read, there would be a yellow (actually probably hot pink, because it'll FORCE him to look at it) Post-It on the toilet seat with black permanent marker on it that went something like this:


"Dear Calen:

I know peeing standing up is pretty fun and awesome.

(Actually I don't know. But it looks fun.)

But if you're going to pee that way, please put the toilet seat up first so that when Mommy goes to sit down she doesn't wonder why her butt is suddenly all wet. 

And if you're going to sit down to pee, please push the essential body parts DOWN. So that when mommy walks into the bathroom, she doesn't wonder why her FEET are suddenly all wet. 


Seriously. We're talking like four feet away from the toilet people. 

Love, Mommy.

P.S. It's a darn good thing you're cute."

Having a potty trained boy isn't all it's cracked up to be.

At least he's actually IN the bathroom when he goes potty. And is sitting on the correct apparatus (or standing in front of it). We just need to work on fine tuning some aiming issues.


Though I've heard that most boys doing get the aiming issues down until they're like..50.  

The good news is that because of this my downstairs bathroom is scrubbed down like 4 days a week. It gets more attention than any other room in this house. 


There isn't enough Tilex on this planet.

My cute little potty cretin

Pin It